Five Most Helpful Posts… So Far

2 months of blogging already! I’ve brought to you my troubles, my poetry and my opinions but quite interestingly I have brought some helpful advice along with me. This post will show you my “most helpful posts” so far based on the view numbers of my help articles. I hope you take something useful out of this, the advice I give is tried and tested by either myself or professionals. Enjoy!

Ducks15) Unusual Methods To Combat Self-Harming [Part 2]
Views: Dominoes in a standard set (28)
Fifth on the list is the second part of my three part series where I looked at unusual methods to combat self harming. I am someone who self harms so I understand the reasons why someone would self harm, but also why they would want to stop. This post looks at four methods to distract yourself or remove the urge to self harm, including things you can do with other people or by yourself. In fact, two of the four methods on this post I still use from time to time so they can work for some people.
Click here to view the post.

Ice Cubes4) Unusual Methods To Combat Self-Harming [Part 1]
Views: Number of studio and compilation albums by Elton John (47)
One of the first posts on my blog, and since my blog was so small at that point it surprises me that this post made it onto the list. The first part of my unusual methods to combat self harming series looked at four methods to stop yourself from self harming. While they are unusual methods, many people who have tried to get help with self harming will have heard one of the methods on the list. Ice…
Click here to view the post.

Dreaming Bed3) How To Sleep… For Insomniacs
Views: Age of boxer Mike Tyson (48)
Who remembers when I kept writing posts related to insomnia? Well, I think I only did three but this was one of them. This post takes advice from professional self-help books as well as my own experience, so that anyone with sleeping difficulties may find it easier to get some rest. While it may be a slightly shorter post than most others it does include a poem at the end, either you will enjoy it or it will be so boring that you will fall asleep. Win-win situation.
Click here to view the post.

GirlHeadache12) How To Help Someone During A Panic Attack
Views: Number of countries in Africa (54)
This post attracted a lot of people to comment on my blog as well as reblog the post on their own blogs. What are the symptoms of a panic attack? How can you stop them? Should you see a doctor? This post answers those three important questions so that you can help yourself or someone else during a panic attack. Anyone can have a panic attack, be prepared!
Click here to view the post.

DoubleHug1) How To Tell Someone You Are Suicidal
Views: Traditional retirement age in the UK (65)
This blog is no stranger to suicide posts. To me it feels like I write a post about it every week. My readers will know I often feel suicidal, so I have been in the situation a few times where I have to tell someone. Telling someone is the hardest part of getting help which is why it is so important, and I am not surprised that this is my most viewed help article. This post does answer a lot of important questions. Bookmark it, print it out, just stay safe.
Click here to view the post.

Let The Blossom Tree Grow

CherryBlossomsI must admit I have been slipping in and out of that depressed state I was in when I took the overdose. But I told myself today, I will either publish a happy post or I wont publish at all. I wanted to write a poem, something that wont only make me happy but make all of my readers happy too. Well, I don’t know how to make you happy but I do hope the poem I wrote today will make you think, and give you hope if you have none.

Let The Blossom Tree Grow
Have you heard the story of the blossom tree?
An outcast seed is where it began,
And no one spoke of what it would be,
No one said how its life would pan,

Have you seen the storms it faced?
The brutish winds and the deadly rain,
But the earth you walk it chose to grace,
For one more breath it will suffer the pain,

Have you felt the bark it had?
An ugly stump blocking the view,
It must be killed as we destroy the bad,
Don’t let it grow whatever you do,

Do you know what happened after?
That old lump of wood blossomed out,
To a beauty of nature we all concur,
The brightest one without a doubt,

So why did you try to stop the blossom tree?
Why did you try to make it look weak?
It can choose to be what it wants to be,
After all, we’re all unique

It took me a while to write, since I have been in and out of that depressed state all day. Personally it feels like an unfinished piece of work, I did not edit it as much as I would have wanted. But I know my readers will love it. We already have some of you giving me “submarine hugs“, will you now be telling me to grow like a blossom tree? I do hope you choose to grow like a blossom tree too, storms fade!

Happy Haiku Saturday: Haikus 1-15

So I have managed the first fifteen haikus. This is going to be a long day… Enjoy them, I cannot say they are all perfect but I have a time limit. Only 85 to go! Yeah, that’s nothing, but I better stop writing this and start writing more haikus.

Post Number 1: The Birth of the Panda
Welcome to the world
of blogging, Do random things
like write bad haikus…
Click to read the full post

Beautiful photo,
Many shades all together,
And hope behind clouds.
Click to read the full post

#Haiku a Day (No. 096)
Attempting is tough,
Planning is complicated,
But both rewarding
Click to read the full post

Such beauty is rare,
Peaceful hills for peaceful men,
Never reach the bottom
Click to read the full post

Writing Helps
Wow, so you just quit,
But living miserably,
Isn’t how to live.
Click to read the full post

Parkrun Parkrun Parkrun Fun. Part 1.
Oh yeah! Parkrun time!
I’m depressed so taking time
off my usual runs.
Click to read the full post

The storms and monsters
invade the beach, but after
the calm water shines.
Click to read the full post

Suicidal Thoughts?
The world is open
with chances, don’t leave until
all have been explored
Click to read the full post

My Strength
Ink on paper
opens the world greater than
sun behind the clouds
Click to read the full post

In Case You Need A Little Lift
When you reach the stars
there will always be one more
to keep exploring
Click to read the full post

Perfect Palaces
Awesome and amazing art,
Although annoying
Click to read the full post

Recycled Haiku
Recycling is good,
But why not turn an artwork
To a masterpiece?
Click to read the full post

My Birthday. Yay?
With age comes wisdom
But at least you have beauty
At such a young age
Click to read the full post

Week One on Curieuse Island
Dream big, live bigger,
on the island of nature,
where toilets don’t flush…
Click to read the full post

A friendship can only go so far, but boyfriend sounds so elementary.
Love is very strange,
No matter how much you look,
It sneaks up behind.
Click to read the full post

Happy Haiku Saturday – The Beginning

Happy Haiku Saturday is coming near. Hey Depressionless, you are depressed, stop making a happy day dedicated to haikus. Well, guys, I don’t care what you think, I just want to sit at my laptop all day thinking of random haikus that people wont read. So that is why I created Happy Haiku Saturday…

What Is Happy Haiku Saturday?
Happy Haiku Saturday is a day where I try to respond to 100 blog posts with haikus, usually as comments on the blogs. The comments would be normal comments that people would leave but in the form of a haiku (which will mean many strange and crazy haiku’s will be made). All of the blogs responded to, and the haikus used to respond, will be posted on my blog (probably 10-20 per post because you don’t want me spamming 100 posts on my blog in a day).

Why Are You Doing Happy Haiku Saturday?
There are a few reasons. Firstly, I have nothing to do on Saturday so I thought I may as well challenge myself to something hard. Secondly, I have been cutting myself more regularly and deeper so I need a distraction to keep myself cut-free. Thirdly, it means I have a reason to read and share so many good blog posts.

Which Posts Will You Comment On? Can You Comment On Mine?
Any good post I find. Many of them will be related to mental health (because that is what my blog is about) but I will look at other posts on a variety of topics. If you want me to comment a haiku on your post (which means I will also link to your post in one of my posts) just leave the link in a comment on this post, or use my contact page.

What Will Happen When You Reach 100 Haikus?
I will probably faint… Seriously, this challenge will take all day. If I read posts quickly and find one to respond to in 3 minutes, then take another minute to create a haiku that’s 4 minutes per haiku. With 100 haikus to do, it could take 400 minutes. Plus I will have to do my own blog posts to tell you guys about my haikus, and that could be another 20 minutes per post. Presuming that there will be 6 posts that will add another 120 minutes on. This means I will be dedicating 520 minutes (8 hours, 40 minutes) to Happy Haiku Saturday. And I have probably underestimated everything, so don’t even expect me to finish.

Why Haikus?
Haikus are quite short,
They are so easy to create,
Plus some are funny…

I Want To Write Haikus Too!
Well go on then. And let me know so I can respond with my own haiku, we might even have a haiku battle (like a rap battle, but with haikus). I love haikus, and you should too!

Delusional: MI5 Agent Depressionless, Your First Mission

The first mission for all secret agents is expected to be tough, but it can’t get much tougher than this one. My assignment, to stop the terrorist bomb threats near the local park. This is no joke but it is my first mission as Agent Depressionless. On Wednesday I skipped college because my depression was bad and I did not feel like going so instead I decided to go to the park, which turned out to be both a good and bad experience.

I am casually walking around the park when I get my mission. The debriefing occurred in my mind (no surprising, but why didn’t I question it?) and my secretive boss who I have no idea about has warned me that there are terrorists in the park who are planning to shoot civilians as well as plant bombs in nearby buildings. As a newly recruited MI5 agent I had to try to remain calm at all times. I decided first that I must try to find the suspects, then follow them until I am sure they are planning to commit their crimes. During the debriefing I was also told they are likely to be near the bridge at some point, so that’s were I headed first.

Minutes were passing, time I could not afford to lose. They could already be killing civilians by now, I need to act quickly. Stop! I spot one of the suspects walking towards me. I panic. I don’t know what to do. This never happened in my training. I never took part in training. I try to act calm but it is hard, I just stand still and turn away, trying to still look at them through the corner of my eye. Within a few seconds I have lost them, they turn behind a bush and I can’t see them. From quite far away I look under the bush to see where their feet are going, but I can’t even see their feet. They must be onto me! I pick up the pace and walk quicker, thinking about a route to cut them off, while at the same time try to figure out where they are going. I am walking faster and faster, it is more of a jog at this point. I get to the other side of the bush but there is only one path they could have gone down without me seeing them.

I slow down again realising that I will not be far behind them unless they were running too, but these terrorist suspects wont want to act suspicious or else they will be caught. Clever thinking again by me. I walk down this path, noticing the undisturbed squirrels on the sides of the path. Wait a second, undisturbed? As I walk closer they begin to move away. But why were they next to the path if the suspect had just walked down here? This does not add up. At this moment I get a telepathic message from my secretive boss who informs me there are suspects at the bridge right at the moment. I pick up the pace again into a fast walk and get near the bridge.

I don’t want to blow my cover. I stay at least 20 metres from the bridge but with a good viewing spot to see who goes over. First comes a couple with a baby. Great disguise! Or is it a disguise? It can’t be, they don’t look like they are ready to commit terrorist acts. They stop. Oh no, have they spotted me? This can’t be happening. The couple start talking, at which point another man walks over the bridge. I need to know what that couple are saying, while I also need to look at this man to check if he a suspect. The couple are on the move again but I divert my attention to the man. Yes, it could be him. He is checking over his shoulder to see if anyone is following him, but that’s what I’ll be doing in a second. I give him about 15 metres space and then start my pursuit.

He does not look calm. There must be something stressing him. He is walking faster than people usually do at the park. This must be one of the suspects, I have found one! I can’t get too close yet, but I can’t lose him. The fate of innocent people rests on my shoulders, I have to do this. Who knows how many people could die if I let him get away. I then start to think about how I will stop him. Possibly wait until we are both out of the publics view and then take him on? He is far larger than me and I didn’t go to MI5 training so my combat skills are rusty. Well? I could lure him into a trap and call the police. Great idea. While these thoughts go on in my mind I have lost him. Oh no! That is two suspects lost already. People could already be dying and I haven’t stopped them.

Ok, another telepathic message. Yes, my boss has come up with a good idea. The suspects will need a getaway vehicle, so I shall wait at the car park to catch them before they leave. Fortunately I am now only two minutes away from the car park. I head in that direction. I pass a group of four people on the way. Nope, they aren’t involved. The car park is now in view, and there are three people in it. One looks like a postman who is fiddling with a box. Causing a power cut? Or planting a bomb? He must be up to something. Another walks into the park with their dog. Yeah, if they have a dog they can’t be terrorists. The third is a woman who goes towards the postman, talks to him and heads back to her car. She grabs something out of her car and walks away. Suspects number three and four. Like always, I quickly walk to the scene. As I get closer I notice the postman is actually a council worker who is fixing the parking machine. Obviously! But that woman, she is a suspect, I must follow her. She is already out of the car park but I know which direction she went, so I pursue.

I follow her. She is far away but I think I can catch up. Where is she going? Remember, the terrorists want to shoot people in the park and blow up nearby buildings. She must have grabbed a bomb out of her car, and now she is heading to her target. Now if I thought the two previous suspects were bad, this one could be about the kill dozens if I do not get there in time. I pick up the pace, and follow her exact footsteps. She then crosses the road but traffic comes along. I can’t get across. She is getting away. The people! I must save the people!

The traffic light changes and she is further away than before. I cross the road and try to catch up again. I see a building not far away and figure out the plan. She can’t be. No, seriously? She is about to bomb a college and I’m too far away to stop her. She turns into the college and I lose sight of her. She is inside already. I walk quickly but by the time I get there she is nowhere to be seen. She is probably planting the bomb right now. I am ashamed with my performance, I know I have failed everyone. I have failed the people, the country, the queen. I must retire from this business of secret agents. I am no good. The suspect is still in the building planting the bomb while I walk away from the scene. The telepathic messages from my secretive boss have stopped. They must know of my resignation.

Twenty minutes pass. No explosions, no gunfire, I realise I have just had another delusion. Silly me…

When Insomnia Writes Haiku’s

Hey Depressionless, didn’t you promise us a poem? Yeah I did, but I’ve realised that my good day has gone and my depression is going to hurt me a lot more over the next few days. Okay, so I’ll slip a few haiku’s into this post. I am writing all of this at 1am while severely depressed so dont expect a lot.

Yawn! Head slowly drops
as eyes flicker to open
to the bright new day

Me right now...

Me right now…

What? What did I just write? I’ll regret all of this when I wake up tomorrow. Actually I don’t plan on sleeping so it will be when I wake up on Tuesday. I think I’m in this situation because my friend text me to say they will meet up, but I received another text about a day later saying they won’t meet me. They know my depression is getting worse but I didn’t mention my suicidal thoughts were bad. Well, they better have a good excuse because if I’m honest my depression is as bad as it can get. I don’t tend to tell people how bad it is because I don’t want to worry them.

Misty mind clouded
by thunder as rain drops fall
onto frowning man

The lonely duck
floats the least peaceful as he
finds the lonely shore

Either my tiredness has created genius poetry, or I cannot understand what I’m writing because I’m too tired. It may be only 1am but depression can seriously drain the energy out of you. I’ve been in this situation before but I managed to get asleep. Shall we look at my exciting week ahead?

Happiness is found
in boxes and boxes of junk,
but junk is treasure?

While someone finds a literary analyser to see if that made sense, I’ll tell you about next (this) week. Monday, well nothing really now my friend wont meet me. Tuesday? My first CAMHS counselling session, wow, I have a feeling that will make me feel even worse. Wednesday, a very short day of college where I plan to write more of my book afterwards. Thursday, I’ll see my GP and tell them how much I hated my counselling. Friday I’ll hopefully try to see my friend unless they decide I’m not important. And the weekend I’ll continue writing while watching the endless football on TV.

Never surrender
to the silence or dream-state
you enter at night

Yes, I am telling myself to stay awake through the night. Will I even bother turning up to college tomorrow? I will not pay attention or learn anything, I really enjoy my subjects but this depression is winning the battle at the moment. Pulling an all-nighter does stop you learning the following day. I might actually go to maths just to fall asleep.

Learn of life and love
when living the life of love
as you love your life

I think we shall stop there, as I feel the next haiku will be random letters as my face smashes the keyboard. Oh well, I’ll try to do a real post if I have the energy tomorrow (today). You have now seen one of my freestyle poems, and this post shows my haiku’s written while tired. Yeah, I can’t improve them while I tired so you could just say I freestyled these too. I can’t even think about them. Can you readers think for me, what do you think?

How To Sleep… For Insomniacs

Everybody will have a hard time getting to sleep every once in a while. Those who suffer from insomnia (which is a symptom of various illnesses) will probably have an even harder time sleeping, and as I suffer from depression I know what it is like staying up all night for many reasons. Sleep is natural, but there are certain things you can do to make it easier for you to get to sleep.

Tips To Get To Sleep:
– Get up earlier in the morning
– Exercise during the day but not shortly before going to sleep
– Do not take naps (especially after 4pm)
– Do not have a large meal shortly before going to sleep
– Do not drink caffeine (coffee, tea, coke, etc.) in the evening or at night
– Make sure your bed is comfortable
– Make sure your room is not too hot or cold, and turn off the lights
– Do relaxation exercises before going to bed

The tips are from “Understanding Depression” by Dr Kwame McKenzie and was published in association with the British Medical Association, so they are from the experts and are very likely to work. There are even more in the book, some of these tips are common sense and you can figure out that they will work.

For those who dream of sleeping...

For those who dream of sleeping…

I thought one idea mentioned in the book was particularly useful. If you cannot get to sleep for half an hour or wake up and have trouble getting back to sleep, you should get up and do an activity. Do not do anything intense, reading a book or watching TV is fine. Just laying in your bed could make the situation worse, while occupying the mind will use up some energy and help you get to sleep. I woke up at 2am this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, I started playing a game on my phone and just fell asleep while playing (the game wasn’t boring)!

This would be the end of my post but I realise I haven’t released a poem in a while so I’ll just leave a related poem for those who are interested to read.

One Night Sleep
I burst alive at stroke of midnight,
Move around without the light,
Work, eat and play throughout the day,
But tonight I struggle to dream away.

Brain overflows and mind too full,
Wrapped in my blanket, silk and wool,
Why can’t I sleep for just an hour,
I don’t think I possess the power.

Every night it seems the same,
Rest my head is the impossible aim,
But when I decide to just give in,
I’m as quiet as I’ve ever been.

And that’s everything. There are certainly more ways which can help you get to sleep that I did not mention in this post. Do you have your own little secret to help you sleep? Share in the comments.