Five Most Helpful Posts… So Far

2 months of blogging already! I’ve brought to you my troubles, my poetry and my opinions but quite interestingly I have brought some helpful advice along with me. This post will show you my “most helpful posts” so far based on the view numbers of my help articles. I hope you take something useful out of this, the advice I give is tried and tested by either myself or professionals. Enjoy!

Ducks15) Unusual Methods To Combat Self-Harming [Part 2]
Views: Dominoes in a standard set (28)
Fifth on the list is the second part of my three part series where I looked at unusual methods to combat self harming. I am someone who self harms so I understand the reasons why someone would self harm, but also why they would want to stop. This post looks at four methods to distract yourself or remove the urge to self harm, including things you can do with other people or by yourself. In fact, two of the four methods on this post I still use from time to time so they can work for some people.
Click here to view the post.

Ice Cubes4) Unusual Methods To Combat Self-Harming [Part 1]
Views: Number of studio and compilation albums by Elton John (47)
One of the first posts on my blog, and since my blog was so small at that point it surprises me that this post made it onto the list. The first part of my unusual methods to combat self harming series looked at four methods to stop yourself from self harming. While they are unusual methods, many people who have tried to get help with self harming will have heard one of the methods on the list. Ice…
Click here to view the post.

Dreaming Bed3) How To Sleep… For Insomniacs
Views: Age of boxer Mike Tyson (48)
Who remembers when I kept writing posts related to insomnia? Well, I think I only did three but this was one of them. This post takes advice from professional self-help books as well as my own experience, so that anyone with sleeping difficulties may find it easier to get some rest. While it may be a slightly shorter post than most others it does include a poem at the end, either you will enjoy it or it will be so boring that you will fall asleep. Win-win situation.
Click here to view the post.

GirlHeadache12) How To Help Someone During A Panic Attack
Views: Number of countries in Africa (54)
This post attracted a lot of people to comment on my blog as well as reblog the post on their own blogs. What are the symptoms of a panic attack? How can you stop them? Should you see a doctor? This post answers those three important questions so that you can help yourself or someone else during a panic attack. Anyone can have a panic attack, be prepared!
Click here to view the post.

DoubleHug1) How To Tell Someone You Are Suicidal
Views: Traditional retirement age in the UK (65)
This blog is no stranger to suicide posts. To me it feels like I write a post about it every week. My readers will know I often feel suicidal, so I have been in the situation a few times where I have to tell someone. Telling someone is the hardest part of getting help which is why it is so important, and I am not surprised that this is my most viewed help article. This post does answer a lot of important questions. Bookmark it, print it out, just stay safe.
Click here to view the post.

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Let The Blossom Tree Grow

CherryBlossomsI must admit I have been slipping in and out of that depressed state I was in when I took the overdose. But I told myself today, I will either publish a happy post or I wont publish at all. I wanted to write a poem, something that wont only make me happy but make all of my readers happy too. Well, I don’t know how to make you happy but I do hope the poem I wrote today will make you think, and give you hope if you have none.

Let The Blossom Tree Grow
Have you heard the story of the blossom tree?
An outcast seed is where it began,
And no one spoke of what it would be,
No one said how its life would pan,

Have you seen the storms it faced?
The brutish winds and the deadly rain,
But the earth you walk it chose to grace,
For one more breath it will suffer the pain,

Have you felt the bark it had?
An ugly stump blocking the view,
It must be killed as we destroy the bad,
Don’t let it grow whatever you do,

Do you know what happened after?
That old lump of wood blossomed out,
To a beauty of nature we all concur,
The brightest one without a doubt,

So why did you try to stop the blossom tree?
Why did you try to make it look weak?
It can choose to be what it wants to be,
After all, we’re all unique

It took me a while to write, since I have been in and out of that depressed state all day. Personally it feels like an unfinished piece of work, I did not edit it as much as I would have wanted. But I know my readers will love it. We already have some of you giving me “submarine hugs“, will you now be telling me to grow like a blossom tree? I do hope you choose to grow like a blossom tree too, storms fade!

First Hug February

I’ve never had a hug… never… this is so sad right? Well, yeah, I’m 17 so I should have had a hug by now. But no, that’s why next month I am going to try and get a hug, my first ever hug. But first…

“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”

BFMH2015

So I am joining the Blog For Mental Health Project, I saw the project last year when I started blogging but the year was almost over so I thought I would wait until the 2015 project started. And here it is! Everyone who reads my blog knows I struggle with my mental health everyday, but I also like to share my experiences and help others which is what I hope I can do through this project. So I am participating, and I hope you do too! Click here to read more about Blog For Mental Health 2015!

I Will Try To Get My First Hug
Next month will be called First Hug February. As you may remember from one of my previous posts, I have never had a hug. As a 17 year old guy (somebody thought I was a girl, why?) it seems strange to me that I’ve never had a hug. I know there is a stereotype that guys can’t show emotions but I really want to know what it feels like.

I spent an hour and a half crying yesterday because I was thinking about never being hugged. This was while I was alone at night, in my bed. After about 30 minutes I started to search on the internet what it feels like to be hugged, and it made me want a hug even more. I then went on Youtube and searched how to hug so I could prepare for the day it happens!

Honestly, I’m not exactly sure how you hug someone. Do you just put your arms around them? I’m worried that I might do it wrong, I don’t have the experience that everyone else has. I’m also worrying how long do I hug someone for? I want to hug someone for a couple hours so I can make up for the time I missed. I hugged my pillow last night for at least half an hour, but I don’t think I can do that to a person.

So... this is how you hug...

So… this is how you hug…

I’ve decided that I might hug my friend (the friend who knows about my depression) if I see them on Monday. They are a girl so I don’t want to make things awkward, but I can’t imagine hugging any guys that I know. I’m not sure whether to tell them before that I’ve never been hugged because I’ll probably start crying when I hug them which will make things even more awkward, I presume. As you can tell, I am worrying a lot about this. It never bothered me before my depression started, but now I really want a hug. My other option is to hug a random stranger… but they might get angry at me…

Anyway, as you can see I have thought about this for a long time. I want to have my first hug, I really do! What should I do? Readers, I need some hugging advice, help me hug! And yeah, I know I’m overthinking all of this but it means so much to me, you probably don’t understand. If you know someone with depression, give them a hug, I hope my friend reads this. When I get my hug I will tell you as it will be the happiest I have ever been…

Happy Haiku Saturday: Haikus 1-15

So I have managed the first fifteen haikus. This is going to be a long day… Enjoy them, I cannot say they are all perfect but I have a time limit. Only 85 to go! Yeah, that’s nothing, but I better stop writing this and start writing more haikus.

Post Number 1: The Birth of the Panda
Welcome to the world
of blogging, Do random things
like write bad haikus…
Click to read the full post

Blue…
Beautiful photo,
Many shades all together,
And hope behind clouds.
Click to read the full post

#Haiku a Day (No. 096)
Attempting is tough,
Planning is complicated,
But both rewarding
Click to read the full post

Serenity
Such beauty is rare,
Peaceful hills for peaceful men,
Never reach the bottom
Click to read the full post

Writing Helps
Wow, so you just quit,
But living miserably,
Isn’t how to live.
Click to read the full post

Parkrun Parkrun Parkrun Fun. Part 1.
Oh yeah! Parkrun time!
I’m depressed so taking time
off my usual runs.
Click to read the full post

Waves
The storms and monsters
invade the beach, but after
the calm water shines.
Click to read the full post

Suicidal Thoughts?
The world is open
with chances, don’t leave until
all have been explored
Click to read the full post

My Strength
Ink on paper
opens the world greater than
sun behind the clouds
Click to read the full post

In Case You Need A Little Lift
When you reach the stars
there will always be one more
to keep exploring
Click to read the full post

Perfect Palaces
Alliteration,
Awesome and amazing art,
Although annoying
Click to read the full post

Recycled Haiku
Recycling is good,
But why not turn an artwork
To a masterpiece?
Click to read the full post

My Birthday. Yay?
With age comes wisdom
But at least you have beauty
At such a young age
Click to read the full post

Week One on Curieuse Island
Dream big, live bigger,
on the island of nature,
where toilets don’t flush…
Click to read the full post

A friendship can only go so far, but boyfriend sounds so elementary.
Love is very strange,
No matter how much you look,
It sneaks up behind.
Click to read the full post

Happy Haiku Saturday – The Beginning

Happy Haiku Saturday is coming near. Hey Depressionless, you are depressed, stop making a happy day dedicated to haikus. Well, guys, I don’t care what you think, I just want to sit at my laptop all day thinking of random haikus that people wont read. So that is why I created Happy Haiku Saturday…

What Is Happy Haiku Saturday?
Happy Haiku Saturday is a day where I try to respond to 100 blog posts with haikus, usually as comments on the blogs. The comments would be normal comments that people would leave but in the form of a haiku (which will mean many strange and crazy haiku’s will be made). All of the blogs responded to, and the haikus used to respond, will be posted on my blog (probably 10-20 per post because you don’t want me spamming 100 posts on my blog in a day).

Why Are You Doing Happy Haiku Saturday?
There are a few reasons. Firstly, I have nothing to do on Saturday so I thought I may as well challenge myself to something hard. Secondly, I have been cutting myself more regularly and deeper so I need a distraction to keep myself cut-free. Thirdly, it means I have a reason to read and share so many good blog posts.

Which Posts Will You Comment On? Can You Comment On Mine?
Any good post I find. Many of them will be related to mental health (because that is what my blog is about) but I will look at other posts on a variety of topics. If you want me to comment a haiku on your post (which means I will also link to your post in one of my posts) just leave the link in a comment on this post, or use my contact page.

What Will Happen When You Reach 100 Haikus?
I will probably faint… Seriously, this challenge will take all day. If I read posts quickly and find one to respond to in 3 minutes, then take another minute to create a haiku that’s 4 minutes per haiku. With 100 haikus to do, it could take 400 minutes. Plus I will have to do my own blog posts to tell you guys about my haikus, and that could be another 20 minutes per post. Presuming that there will be 6 posts that will add another 120 minutes on. This means I will be dedicating 520 minutes (8 hours, 40 minutes) to Happy Haiku Saturday. And I have probably underestimated everything, so don’t even expect me to finish.

Why Haikus?
Haikus are quite short,
They are so easy to create,
Plus some are funny…

I Want To Write Haikus Too!
Well go on then. And let me know so I can respond with my own haiku, we might even have a haiku battle (like a rap battle, but with haikus). I love haikus, and you should too!

The Anti-Depression Mystic Flowing Through The Air

Before I started to suffer from depression I would dream of the many things I would do when I was older; speak various languages, become famous, fall in love, run marathons, travel the world (with the person I fall in love with). Now that I suffer from depression I often feel like I will never achieve those things, although I will sometimes get a random boost of energy which makes me do random things. Depressed people don’t stay depressed for every second of every day, and believe it or not we do regular activities. Here are some of the things I do when I get the anti-depression mystic energy.

Go For Walks – To Nowhere
I went for walks before I was depressed, not very often I will admit, but they usually had a purpose. While I have had depression I have sometimes just left the house to go for a walk. This helps me clear my mind and focus on the thoughts I need to focus on, but also give me fresh air to feel better. I can’t go for walks while I am suffering from my severe episodes of depression, but I can when it feels moderate or mild. You should try this too!

I took this picture on one of my walks, just for my readers.

I took this picture on one of my walks, just for my readers.

Learn Spanish (and Mandarin, Arabic, Hebrew…)
I started learning Spanish a couple of months before I started to feel depressed. I love the culture of the Caribbean, and I feel that if I know both English and Spanish I will be able to explore the culture greatly when I’m older. My depression has stopped me learning Spanish every day, but I still try to keep up with it. However before I started to learn Spanish, I wanted to learn Mandarin. I cannot speak Mandarin but I know basic phrases, and I have a pocketbook to look at if I ever want to embarrass myself in front of natives. Arabic and Hebrew? One of my friends speaks Arabic, one of my friends speaks Hebrew, I would love to learn these languages just to speak to them in their own languages.

Write My Book
I just made this saying up right now; when I’m sad I write my book, when I’m depressed I write my blog. I don’t see that becoming a famous quote used by scholars for the next five centuries, but it explains how I feel. I’ve always wanted to write a book, but it is hard when you have no experiences to write about. My depression has now given me experiences to write about, and I am writing a fiction book with a depressed character in it (oh, I can’t spoil everything for you yet).

I dream of a brighter future...

I dream of a brighter future…

Dream Of A Successful Blog
I do need that mystic anti-depression energy to do this. I always imagine my blog being very successful, helping thousands of people and getting thousands of views every day. I guess that’s why I post on here so often. There is nothing wrong with a dream, right?

Well, that energy allows me to still do things I used to enjoy before I was depressed. My point is that even if you are depressed, there will always be a few times when you can enjoy yourself and be happy. Depression doesn’t make you sad forever, so don’t allow yourself to be. I know I’m not the only one so when you get that anti-depression mystic energy, what do you do?

When Insomnia Writes Haiku’s

Hey Depressionless, didn’t you promise us a poem? Yeah I did, but I’ve realised that my good day has gone and my depression is going to hurt me a lot more over the next few days. Okay, so I’ll slip a few haiku’s into this post. I am writing all of this at 1am while severely depressed so dont expect a lot.

Yawn! Head slowly drops
as eyes flicker to open
to the bright new day

Me right now...

Me right now…

What? What did I just write? I’ll regret all of this when I wake up tomorrow. Actually I don’t plan on sleeping so it will be when I wake up on Tuesday. I think I’m in this situation because my friend text me to say they will meet up, but I received another text about a day later saying they won’t meet me. They know my depression is getting worse but I didn’t mention my suicidal thoughts were bad. Well, they better have a good excuse because if I’m honest my depression is as bad as it can get. I don’t tend to tell people how bad it is because I don’t want to worry them.

Misty mind clouded
by thunder as rain drops fall
onto frowning man

The lonely duck
floats the least peaceful as he
finds the lonely shore

Either my tiredness has created genius poetry, or I cannot understand what I’m writing because I’m too tired. It may be only 1am but depression can seriously drain the energy out of you. I’ve been in this situation before but I managed to get asleep. Shall we look at my exciting week ahead?

Happiness is found
in boxes and boxes of junk,
but junk is treasure?

While someone finds a literary analyser to see if that made sense, I’ll tell you about next (this) week. Monday, well nothing really now my friend wont meet me. Tuesday? My first CAMHS counselling session, wow, I have a feeling that will make me feel even worse. Wednesday, a very short day of college where I plan to write more of my book afterwards. Thursday, I’ll see my GP and tell them how much I hated my counselling. Friday I’ll hopefully try to see my friend unless they decide I’m not important. And the weekend I’ll continue writing while watching the endless football on TV.

Never surrender
to the silence or dream-state
you enter at night

Yes, I am telling myself to stay awake through the night. Will I even bother turning up to college tomorrow? I will not pay attention or learn anything, I really enjoy my subjects but this depression is winning the battle at the moment. Pulling an all-nighter does stop you learning the following day. I might actually go to maths just to fall asleep.

Learn of life and love
when living the life of love
as you love your life

I think we shall stop there, as I feel the next haiku will be random letters as my face smashes the keyboard. Oh well, I’ll try to do a real post if I have the energy tomorrow (today). You have now seen one of my freestyle poems, and this post shows my haiku’s written while tired. Yeah, I can’t improve them while I tired so you could just say I freestyled these too. I can’t even think about them. Can you readers think for me, what do you think?