Learning Maths, Making Money And A Random Post

Okay guys, I’ve been away from blogging for a while (like I said I would, even though I keep coming back) but I thought I would share a few random things with you while I am gone. Okay, well one of them relates to my mental health (no, two actually – I’m making this up as I go along) but the others things are things that I know several of my readers may enjoy. You should all learn something by the end of this.

How To Multiply Any Two Two-Digit Numbers In Your Head
While I’ve been away from blogging I have told myself to learn some new pointless skills. On my list of pointless skills I already have beatboxing, rapping, shuffling (dancing – but I’m not very good at it so maybe it doesn’t count), knowing very little words in various languages, memorising the words to several Taylor Swift songs… The list goes on and it only gets worse. I just want to add I do have some useful skills but I don’t want you to be jealous. Anyway, I have now added a new skill to my list: multiplying two two-digit numbers in my head.

Here’s how to do it:
1) Multiply the first digit of both numbers – and stick a zero at the end
2) Multiply the first digit of number A with the last digit of number B, and vice versa
3) Add those two numbers together
4) Multiply the last digit of each number and stick it at the end of your previous answer

Here’s an example as those instructions probably didn’t make sense:
52 x 34
1) 5 x 3 = 15 (with the zero at the end becomes 150)
2) (5 x 4) + (2 x 3) = 26
3) 150 + 26 = 176
4) 2 x 4 = 8
5) Stick it at the end to get 1768

You can use your calculator to check it if you don’t believe me. This skill takes a lot of practice, first I had to memorise the actual method of doing it (I was very confused at the start – like most of you are now). Then I tried get very fast at working it out on paper, then finally moving to doing it in my head. I can now do all of the multiplications in less than 10 seconds in my head providing the numbers are written down somewhere (so I can see them). Sadly I can’t do this trick if someone just tells me two numbers but I’m working on it. I hope you all enjoy this pointless new skill.

So I Can Now Learn Lots Of Languages… But Not Become Fluent
I’ve been using this website recently called Duolingo which teaches you another language, but in a game sort of way. They have lots of languages including Spanish, French, German, Portuguese and Swedish. They have recently added Ukrainian and Norwegian with Esperanto on the way but there are many more languages that I haven’t mentioned, with even more on the way. They have an app too which you can download on most OS’s, and I would recommend this website to everybody. If you are learning a language at GCSE or A-Level (based on UK qualifications, these are taken between 14-18) then this site will definitely help you, but the only problem is it wont make you fluent (which I guess you have to speak to people to do). Check it out!

While We Are Advertising Websites… I Made Money!
For a 17 year old guy with no job and too lazy/depressed to leave his room it comes as a miracle that people can earn money online. I don’t think I could pay my way through university through this website and I hope no one quits there day job just for this but I discovered a website called Swagbucks which rewards you for doing small tasks or searching the internet. In my first month on the website I made enough money to buy 7 books from Amazon (all ranging between £4 and £20). A majority of them were either maths or computer books to add to my already large collection, which is great! I’d recommend that everyone signs up to the website to even get a small amount of money, and if you are a jobless teenager like me then this website is like heaven.

My Friendly Non-Friendy Friend Is Going To Learn About My Illness
Well, as you all know, I have depression… Maybe, not so certain, my stupid CAMHS counsellor wants to diagnose me with everything at the moment. Anyway, my friend is still talking to me and they said they will look up depression and things to do with mental illness so that they can better understand what I’m going through. I asked them to look it up a while ago but we have fell out in that time. I have also recently tried to explain some of the things I think. I just hope that they don’t get angry at me and we can stay friends, but if they don’t understand what I’m going through then it might be hard for them.

New Counsellor?
Yeah, end of June is the new estimation. That’s, well, only 2 months after the original estimate…

Counting Cuts – How Many Can I Do?

Yeah, whatever mental illness I am suffering from, it is definitely getting worse again! Today I decided I would cut myself 49 times, one for each day I have been on this medication that is doing absolutely nothing for me. My suicidal thoughts are on the way back up after I thought the medication was making them go down, my cutting is also on the way back up and I’m still feeling as sad and as isolated as ever. As someone who is sitting real exams in a few weeks, this could not have come at a worse time. So today, what happened?

I went to counselling today. I decided I would give my counsellor the silent treatment. This was the first time I had seen them in 4 weeks (they didn’t want to see me sooner), and also the first time I had seen them after receiving the strange letter. I hate them. I said to my friend earlier in the day that I wouldn’t mind if my counsellor jumped off a cliff, obviously I don’t mean that, I think I let my emotions get the better of me as I would never want anyone to commit suicide, but I think that shows how much I hate them. I didn’t want to talk to them and I wanted them to know it. I want my new counsellor to come as soon as possible.

My cuts tally...

My cuts tally…

My counsellor just made me feel worse, while sitting in that room listening to them try to get an answer out of me I knew I was going to go home and cut. I wasn’t planning to do anything like I did but I could see something coming. I got home after counselling and was normal for a few hours… or normal for me. I went to my room and cried for a bit then played a game on my phone. I haven’t been able to concentrate on exam revision very well for a while so it is not surprising that I didn’t get any done. But after I had dinner it went downhill. I decided that I had to do one cut for every day this new medication had failed me, so I checked out the calendar and counted how many days I had been taking it. 1, 2, 3… 47, 48, 49! 49 days of failed medication! I have been on my medication for 7 weeks and I don’t feel worse. I guess I deserve these 49 cuts.

I did two cuts and thought I wasn’t going to reach 49. I stopped for about 5 minutes. However, I am someone who doesn’t give up easily so I kept going. I reached 7 cuts quite early on before realising I shouldn’t be doing a tally of my cuts, let alone attempt to reach 49 cuts. I distracted myself with my phone again but I was constantly feeling sadder every minute as I thought about how my week had gone so far. I don’t know how but I made it to 10 cuts while still on my phone. Distracting myself was clearly not working. 12. 15. 18. 20. I had got to 20 cuts when I decided enough was enough.

Click here to read about my self-harm record from a few months ago, which has been broken a lot since.

I attempted to do some revision but it failed. I did two more cuts which takes my total to 22. I still have 3 hours left in the day and I have no idea what I will do. I don’t know whether to stop, I don’t know whether to try to reach 49 cuts. I am confused.

CAMHS: That Counselling Service I Love And Hate

CAMHS… The way I talk about my counselling, the nations counselling service for children and teenagers, you might think it is closer to hell than helpful. I’ll be fair and say I have experienced some good aspects of CAMHS in the few months I have been under their service, but at the same time I have had experiences that have only made my mental health worse. Yes, it is time for me to revisit the tales of my dreaded counsellor who managed to invent 13 people and allowed me to go home with a plan to kill myself. Today, I’ll talk about my experiences with CAMHS.

Well, when I first got the letter for my CAMHS counselling session I was excited. I had been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts for months. In my eyes CAMHS was this miracle service that could end my depression and keep me on the right track to lead a “normal” life. I had read stories on the internet about people who had gone to CAMHS and received no help but that did not worry me as I had also read stories of the complete opposite. I knew if I did not get help soon (I was already seeing my GP but they not meant to be as good with mental health as CAMHS) I would probably end up doing something I would regret… or something I wouldn’t be able to regret. I started with CAMHS straight after New Years, it was on the first week of 2015.

I met my counsellor, I didn’t like my counsellor, they are probably the reason why I hate CAMHS so much. But at the time I met them I had only talked to one other person from CAMHS who I met at the hospital, and they were not nice to me. So now I had met two people from the same organisation who weren’t helpful, in fact they both made me feel worse. What did my counsellor do you might be thinking, I’ll tell you.

We’ll start off small. My counsellor is meant to talk through my problems with me, and when they have an idea or solution they also talk through that with me. Maybe these health professionals are also meant to jump to strange conclusions, but I doubt it. One time early in my counselling I was asked if I had ever drank alcohol, and I said yes as most teenagers have drank alcohol. I was then asked how often I drink alcohol to which I replied I don’t really drink alcohol very often. I am not sure whether my counsellor decided I am hiding something but even after talking to my dad about it she believes I drink regularly. I was in the room when she talked to my dad and my dad said I don’t really drink alcohol. This is one of the mysteries of CAMHS. The same happened when she asked if any of my friends drink or take drugs, and I said I do have friends who smoke occasionally. Apparently this means my friends have drinking and drug problems. That doesn’t make sense to me, another one of the mysteries of CAMHS.

My counsellor does make up things that I’ve never said quite frequently. They have managed to invent 11 friends I’ve never had while at the same time invent a dad and a sister that I’ve never had (unless I have a second dad and sister hiding somewhere). They’ve managed to make up events that have never happened such as panic attacks, which is why they have probably diagnosed me with mixed depressive and anxiety disorder, something they have never discussed with me and something I believe is wrong. If they make up so much stuff how can I believe their diagnosis? In fact I have my own rule which is whatever they diagnose me with is wrong. The worst part about all of this is that they broke confidentiality and sent all the wrong information to my parents in a letter. Fortunately the letter also had my name on it so I managed to get it before my parents, they never saw it.

This is not the worst thing about my counsellor. Imagine having a plan to kill yourself, trying to receive help, and the one person who is meant to help you the most has decided you don’t need help and sends you home with a plan to kill yourself. That is not quite what happened but it is close. One time, my counsellor could not be bothered to talk to me so they gave me a questionnaire to fill in while they left me alone in the room. The questionnaire had over 100 questions and took me a while to complete. Some of the questions were related to suicide, and one asked me if I had a plan to kill myself. I said yes. At the time I did not actually have a plan to kill myself but I was very suicidal and wanted some help, I was foolish to think my counsellor would help me. They read the questionnaire after and asked me about my plan, they then went to talk to their supervisor and came back deciding that I don’t need any help. They sent me home. That has taught me not to go to my counsellor when I actually do have a plan, I’ll go straight to the hospital instead. Maybe there they can actually help me.

And they can. The hospital is where I have experienced the better side of CAMHS. Twice I have gone to the hospital to see an out-of-hours CAMHS person whilst being under the service, the only other time was before I started with CAMHS and met a horrible person but I tend to forget about that. The first time I met a man who worked for CAMHS, this was when I had been prescribed some new medication which was making me more suicidal, a common side effect for teenagers apparently. This man so kind to me, we talked about video games for a while when we were meant to be talking about my suicidal thoughts, but actually that made me less suicidal. I don’t know whether that was his plan but it worked. He also realised it was the medication making me more suicidal and gave me a plan to stop the medication, and spoke to my counsellor asking to start new medication as soon as possible. That was a great experience. During this same visit to the hospital my parents arrived and started shouting at me, and a woman working at the hospital allowed me to stay in a separate area away from my parents. That may sound small but it meant so much to me. This visit to the hospital was the first time I realised that CAMHS was there to help me.

The second visit to the hospital was also a good experience, or at least as good as it can get while being suicidal. I had stabbed myself and was wanting to see a mental health worker to talk to about my suicidal thoughts. They told me an out-of-hours CAMHS worker was on their way. After waiting all night for this CAMHS person to appear, they finally did in the early hours of the morning. Our conversation did not seem long to me although it was over an hour, we talked about how life was for me an general and why I had come to the hospital specifically this time. They were very kind to me and they helped me a lot, we came up with a care plan that my CAMHS counsellor never did. I have actually requested that I have regular meeting with this person instead of my current counsellor, which would probably be the greatest thing CAMHS could do for me at that point.

So while my CAMHS counsellor is horrible and probably makes me feel worse, I know that there are people in the service who can help. When I look at CAMHS reviews online they always get very positive reviews or very negative reviews, and I can see why. CAMHS seems like a great service but it always depends who you talk to as that is the main thing about the service, it is mostly about talking. To anyone who has to start with CAMHS I would recommend trying it out, you can always request a different counsellor, or stop all together. At least if you try you might get help and you might get better. Now I’m hoping for my counsellor to be changed soon, the sooner the better…

This post is part of my Blogging A to Z April Challenge. The theme for yesterday was meant to be “CAMHS” but I fell asleep very early and could not publish it, so I’ve published it this morning. Later today I was focus on depression, the main theme of my blog. Watch this space!

The Letter…

A letter was addressed to my house today for my parents and me, containing information about my mental illness. It contained some information I never knew, some information that I didn’t want shared with anyone, and some information that isn’t even true. So it was no surprise to see it was a letter from my CAMHS counsellor. I still don’t know what to think about the letter, it makes me laugh to read what they think about me but at the same time it is worrying that my private information could have been read by my parents without me knowing.

Near the top of the letter it says “CONTENTS NOT TO BE DIVULGED WITHOUT AUTHORS CONSENT” in bold, capital letters. And as any mental health patient knows, I have the right to keep all information between myself and my counsellor unless there is danger to me or someone else. So I read through the letter expecting it to talk about how I am still suffering from suicidal thoughts and my counsellor might have thought I was going to act on them so they would tell my parents. I read through the whole letter, half smiling, half confused. There was almost no talk of my suicidal thoughts, but there was a lot of strange information.

I thought I should share some with my readers first. Note that my name has been replaced with Depressionless in some quotes.

“He struggles with sleeping. He goes to bed around 10pm…”

Okay, so that one isn’t exactly strange compared to some others. I did tell my counsellor this about two months ago but during all meetings they ask me how my sleeping is, and I tell them something different each time. Sometimes my sleeping is fine for a week, sometimes I sleep really early, and sometimes I can’t sleep. This isn’t exactly troubling news that my counsellor is telling my parents 2 months out-of-date information, and I wouldn’t complain if this was the only thing wrong. So lets continue.

“He said he has about 11 friends”

This is one of the most confusing quotes in the letter, but probably not the worst. 11 friends? Wow, considering a few days ago I was writing on my blog about how I have no friends it upsets me even more that my counsellor has made 11 imaginary friends for me. I’ve never told them about having 11 friends. In fact I’ve only mentioned 3 possible friends to them, one is an online friend, one never talks to me anymore and one is the one I’ve mentioned often who used to help me but has since stopped talking to me. 11 friends? Being my unstable self I’ll probably both laugh and cry about this later.

“The first panic attack was on the physics test”

What? Okay, so I understand where this came from. When I was first visited by the police they thought I was going to kill myself over a physics test in which I apparently had a panic attack. Firstly, I wouldn’t kill myself over a test score, lets make that clear. Secondly, I never had a panic attack in the test. I’ve said both of this to several people including my CAMHS counsellor over the past few months so I’m not sure why they don’t believe me (or are using out-of-date information again).

“His father, William” and “Depressionless has an elder sister, Jane”

Well, you probably wont understand this one until I explain it. My father isn’t called William, my sister isn’t called Jane. Unless… maybe I have a secret dad and sister that I have never met, and no one has ever told me about. Why would my counsellor finally decide to tell me in a letter? They wouldn’t, they have just made up another two people. So that means my counsellor has created 13 people so far, I think they should get their own counsellor and a psychiatric test. Apparently they talked to my father William…

“didn’t want to talk about the thought of self-harm however denied any intent”

I’m not even sure what this means. Does this mean I keep accidentally self-harming? Does this mean I deny ever self-harming despite showing them my cuts? Should the word self-harm be replaced with suicide despite me actually attempting it? I have no idea. Whatever it means, they obviously aren’t listening to me.

Wow, there are a lot more errors in the letter but I don’t want to talk about them all here. This blog post would be far too long if I mentioned them all. so that must be it? Surely? No, that is the information that makes no sense, now lets move onto the information that I never knew.

So I still haven’t received a proper diagnosis from my CAMHS counsellor. My GP and college counsellor both seem to accept I have depression, but want to know what my CAMHS counsellor thinks. I want to know what my CAMHS counsellor thinks because I know whatever they think about me is probably wrong (considering they believe the opposite of whatever I say). So what did they think?

Mixed depressive and anxiety disorder… Something they have never mentioned to me. Wait? Did they give me a diagnosis through post? Possibly because they don’t want me to laugh in their face and use my intelligence to prove them wrong. I don’t have extensive knowledge on this disorder but I understand their has to be roughly an equal balance of depression and anxiety but neither has to stand out. I have never heard from my counsellor about this so I wont know the proper medical definition, but at the moment I don’t think I have it. I don’t believe I have an serious anxiety disorder I used to have a few panic attacks when I had to first start talking about my mental health but I probably haven’t had one in a few months. I don’t get anxious in social situations either, I may be a little shy when I first meet people but so are most people. I might have a bit of anxiety caused by my depression, I won’t deny that, but I don’t believe I have mixed depressive and anxiety disorder.

I will talk to my CAMHS counsellor about this when I next see them, and they might change my mind. If they change my mind and I finally believe I know what is wrong with me then that is great. I don’t think my counsellor is right though. When they give me more information I can make a better decision. I’ll talk to them about everything in the letter too, because they obviously have no idea about anything, and how they managed to make up 13 people is amazing. I’m starting to think mental illness is the state of being sane, while counsellors are ill and try to make you ill too…

You’re Lucky To Have Someone

You should never judge a book by its cover, and you never judge a person based on their appearance. If someone looked at me they would see a happy, healthy individual. Even if someone spoke to me casually they would hear an intelligent person who is content with their life. If the ability to read minds existed, someone who read my mind would a sad story about a lonely guy who wants to give up on everything. Yes readers, I’m still alive, I’m still here, and I’m still wishing I wasn’t.

Tuesday was one of the worst days for me. Things were getting better, or at least my mind was telling me it was. But I didn’t see the warning signals. My readers will know I have a friend who has stuck with me through my mental health saga starting before my blog began, and they have helped me considerably. I never thought they would leave me. I always wondered whether I was hurting them, I always wondered whether I was doing something wrong. They didn’t talk about it to me though, so things must have been bad, and they were slowly withdrawing themselves from me. I should have seen this, I could have put everything right… After accidentally hurting their feelings on Monday (with a joke they took the wrong way) I tried to ring them on Tuesday night. I tried to ring them but I was put straight through to voicemail. I tried ringing them later but the same thing happened. So being paranoid I tried ringing from a different number, and they answered. I said “hello”, and there was silence for a minute, I said “hello” again and they hung up. I was blocked…

I haven’t tried to speak to them since this happened, I am giving them space based on the advice on my college counsellor. I did see my friend (if I can still call them that) on Friday and I smiled at them, but they looked away with a disgusted look on their face. Until my mind is tricking me again I think it is safe to say they hate me. I want to put things right, I want to know that I never meant to hurt them (which has happened a few times, and I’ve apologised for it, and they’ve accepted them) but I guess I have done it one time to many. I wonder if this has happened with all my other friendships, I wonder if I am a bad person. I am left with no one now.

I have been in contact with Childline a lot more recently, sometimes I just go on their website just for someone to talk to. I have also been seeing my college counsellor more frequently after a period of seeing them less, which I am again doing sometimes just for someone to talk to. I will pop in their department just for a 2 minute chat in between lessons, and I will often spend my lunchtime in the area. I have been walking home with some people who I am certain hate me, but it is best chance I have of spending time with people my age outside of the classroom. They used to be my friends but I’m sure they hate me now, and I wonder if I should just stop trying with them, but I don’t want to be lonely. This is how my relationship is with everyone, it is sad but it is the truth.

If you are reading this and you know you have someone to talk to you are lucky. I don’t have that, I wish I did. If I were to make a bucket list the first thing on it would be to find someone who cares about me. I am convinced if I kill myself there will not be a funeral. I haven’t mentioned my family so far in this post, and I’m mentioning them now just to tell you how they are insignificant in my life. My parents were arguing again at dinner (sort of together, we were all in the same room), I’m sure they don’t love each other. If they don’t love each other, how can they love me? Sad, right?

A slightly better thing to note is that I should be getting another CAMHS counsellor soon. They work in behaviour therapy which is different to my current general counsellor, so I am not sure whether I will still be seeing both but I would like to leave the one that I currently hate. The new one will be someone I met at the hospital once, I requested them because I have met them and I got along with them when I spoke to them before. That could be over a month away due to the waiting list, but I will wait for them.

No friends anymore… I don’t have anyone. Yes, I’ve come crawling back to my readers. Forgive me, I was confused. Hopefully I’ll find someone soon who wants to spend time with me, but this time I wont tell them as much about my mental illness, and I’ll try not to talk to them as much. That is what I presume I did wrong with my old friend, but they never told me anything was wrong so I have to guess. Oh well, I will keep trying. I will keep hoping. Depressionless out.

P.S. I’m self-harming less…

Don’t Worry Guys, Sorry To Scare You!

My last post was a week and a half ago and I talked about my suicidal thoughts and feelings. I think I may have scared some of my readers, but I am fine now. Thanks for being so concerned for me, I promise I’ll keep you better informed next time.

I was struggling with my suicidal thoughts not long ago. I will give you more details in a few posts over the next few days but I stabbed myself, ended up in hospital and had to stay there for a while. I was unable to post while in hospital so could not inform my lovely readers. On getting out I was feeling better but still struggling with my suicidal thoughts, my mind wasn’t working right and I completely forgot loads of things. I didn’t post here, I haven’t been to college, lots of things went wrong. I also discovered some things about my family and my friendships which impacted my mood, making me even more depressed. I have been struggling a lot in the past 2 weeks. I will share it with you guys starting tomorrow, there is lots to talk about. It could be a post series, maybe the “Battling My Suicidal Thoughts” series. Seriously, there is a lot, I could probably write a novel with everything that has happened.

Thanks for all the comments while I was away, I feel bad for not telling you guys, but my mind wasn’t in the right place. I’ll probably go through each comment tomorrow and thank everyone, it means a lot to have these people who care. This is Depressionless, signing out!

Here’s To My Happy Week!

After months of up and down emotions as well as increasing suicidal thoughts (including a sort of attempt) I have some news that all of my readers will have been hoping for… I’m having less suicidal thoughts! This is something which is great news for me as I don’t want to get as close to suicide as I did last weekend, or take another overdose which I’ll decide I don’t want to do half-way through. Some of my readers will know be thinking, come on Depressionless, this wont last, next week you’ll have another post about how you want to kill yourself again, be realistic. Well, I want to be happy about this, I hope I can be happy like this for the rest of my life but even this is better than the everlasting depression state I have been in.

Hospital? Did you miss that post? Read it here.

I spoke to my GP a few days ago, and we talked about a few things such as medication, my counselling, and if there could be a different diagnosis. Basically, we talk about what I want to talk about. Firstly, I will be talking more about medication next week as we look at trying something different to Fluoxetine. The Fluoxetine is wearing off, which is probably why I’m feeling less suicidal, and I will be able to start a new medication at any time. I will have to see what is recommended, I presume it will be another SSRI. All of the possible mental illnesses that people are suggesting at the moment can be treated with SSRI’s.

Counselling? I talked to my GP about getting a new counsellor. One of the most mentioned topics on my blog is my hate of my counsellor which may sound mean but someone who turns me away when I tell them I have a suicide plan deserves my hate. They don’t give advice, just papers for me to read through, which will magically make me less depressed. Note, that doesn’t work. My GP said I might get the person I spoke to at the hospital as my counsellor, but that might not be possible as it depends on when they work. Anyone will be better than my current counsellor though.

My CAMHS counsellor killed me! Not literally.

Next, cutting! The days leading up to the events of last weekend as well as this week my cutting has been more random. There have been days where I have cut a lot, but there have been days where I haven’t cut. A similar thing happened around the time I took the overdose, but this time I seem to be cutting less afterwards. I’m not sure whether this will keep up as I might feel more depressed next week with the college tests I have. If stopping cutting makes me more suicidal I wont stop, but if I can keep my sessions as short as possible and my cuts as shallow as possible it will be manageable.

Finally, I have been more organised this week. I wrote a to-do list for my life this week which has helped me be more productive. I recommend it, although it made me realise how much I actually have to do. I will keep doing this each week. You might have noticed I’ve been publishing more posts. Well, on my to-do list I wrote that I would publish more blog posts and when I started writing one I had ideas for many, so expect a few over the next few weeks.

Oh wait, this is finally. I want to mention a few people. I do this sometimes, just to thank people who help me out during my low times. Obviously I want to thank every reader who has liked, commented and reblogged my posts. KBailey374, I Run This Mind and NorthernRose all reblogged my last blog post! All Things Chronic pingbacked it too! Wow! Anyway, I keep having strange conversations with DeepBluesAndSeaFoamGreens (I love the long name!) and they cheer me up whenever I see one of their comments. They are also one of the blogs not totally related to mental health or poetry that I follow, check them out! AmandaQuirky keeps commenting on a few of my posts now, and they commented on one of my poetry posts with a poem. I kind of told my readers to do that but I love it, and it was so good too! Siouxsie also deserves I mention for being so helpful to me when I was suicidal, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but they were helping so much, trying to figure out about hospital procedures for me and trying to get me there. It’s amazing how kind some strangers are, I haven’t been on the Depressionless twitter account still the hospital event so I haven’t spoken to them, I need to soon though. I could mention all of my readers, I read all of your comments I try to reply to them too. I think I made this paragraph too long, what do you think?

Click here to view the post I was talking about above, the one everyone loves!

Anyway, I have forgot what I was talking about. Something about it being a good few days for me… Yeah, it has been, and I hope next week is good too! I doubt it will be since I have a few college tests but I will try to be optimistic, at least for now. How has everyone else’s week been?