Depression, one of the most talked about topics on my blog with suicide and counselling but I’ll have to talk about it again as it is the theme of the day for my Blogging A to Z challenge. I thought I would take a slightly different approach from moaning about my life… so I’ll moan about my symptoms. Well, kind of. Today I shall talk about the symptoms of depression that annoy me the most, besides the obvious feeling very, very sad.
Symptoms Of Depression
Well, how can we decide on the most annoying symptoms if we don’t even know them? I’ve taken these from the NHS website, so check that out if you want more information.
Psychological symptoms include:
– continuous low mood or sadness
– feeling hopeless and helpless
– having low self-esteem
– feeling tearful
– feeling guilt-ridden
– feeling irritable and intolerant of others
– having no motivation or interest in things
– finding it difficult to make decisions
– not getting any enjoyment out of life
– feeling anxious or worried
– having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself
Physical symptoms include:
– moving or speaking more slowly than usual
– change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased)
– unexplained aches and pains
– lack of energy or lack of interest in sex (loss of libido)
– changes to your menstrual cycle
– disturbed sleep (for example, finding it hard to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning)
Social symptoms include:
– not doing well at work
– taking part in fewer social activities and avoiding contact with friends
– neglecting your hobbies and interests
– having difficulties in your home and family life
Please note that I don’t suffer from all of these symptoms, if my menstrual cycle changed (or even if I, as a guy, managed to have one) I would be claiming to have something quite different from depression.
Have you ever had a list of things to do and you know the exact order you want to do them? I often have lists which go similar to “write a blog post, do some college revision, message my friend, go to sleep”. This symptom of depression can often make me do the list backwards, meaning I fall asleep first! Last week I was struggling to stay awake past 9pm while the week before there were nights I stayed awake until 2am. I’m not actually sure whether depression is meant to do that, I always thought depression either made you unable to sleep, or sleep too much, not both! The lack of revision due to my sleepiness will probably make my exams much harder, but I dread to think what will happen if I don’t get any sleep before my exam. This is one of the most annoying symptoms for me, especially when you are forced to listen to Taylor Swift at 4am because you have ran out of songs to listen to after staying awake all night…
Neglecting Your Hobbies And Interests
Yes, this counts as a symptom. The worst thing about this symptom is that I know if I do my hobbies I will feel better. If I go for a run I will feel better. If I program something interesting on the computer I will feel better. However for some reason my mind has decided I am only allowed to think about my hobbies, actually doing them is banned whilst suffering from depression. What is also annoying is that this then forces me to sit at home on my laptop thinking about how sad I am, so I feel even worse. When I manage to pickup my hobbies again I will feel so much better. Have I used the word “feel” too much yet? It’s probably because I feel bad about neglecting my hobbies.
Having Suicidal and Self-Harm Thoughts
Nothing will make you feel better than thinking about harming and killing yourself… wrong! Nothing will make you feel worse. Suicide is one of the most talked about topics on my blog so this symptom is probably annoying both my readers and me. I dream of the day where I don’t think about harming myself, I really do, and I know when that day comes I will have made significant progress with my mental health. Seriously, this symptom appears everywhere. Having a shower? Yeah, I might kill myself later. Eating my breakfast? Oh, I need to cut myself now. Brushing my teeth? Oh, I could always brush too hard and make my gums bleed (I’ve not actually done that but I’m pretty sure it’s possible). This pattern of thought continues throughout the whole day so it gets annoying pretty fast.
Okay, okay, I said I wont mention it, but how can I not include it on this list. It goes without saying, feeling depressed is one of the most common, most annoying and most frequent symptom of depression. You might think you are having it tough when you are sad for half a day, try living with depression.
If I am honest, I could probably think of a reason for every symptom to be on this list, they are all so horrible. Things like this make me wish there were a magic cure for depression, but then I wonder what I would blog about! Besides the obvious ones, what would you say is the most annoying symptoms of your mental illness are? Don’t have a mental illness? Just speculate.
This post is part of my Blogging A to Z April Challenge. The theme for today is “depression”. Fortunately tomorrow the challenge gives me a break, so don’t expect anything, although I may have a surprise for my followers (note the use of the word “may”).