Delusional: MI5 Agent Depressionless, Your First Mission

The first mission for all secret agents is expected to be tough, but it can’t get much tougher than this one. My assignment, to stop the terrorist bomb threats near the local park. This is no joke but it is my first mission as Agent Depressionless. On Wednesday I skipped college because my depression was bad and I did not feel like going so instead I decided to go to the park, which turned out to be both a good and bad experience.

I am casually walking around the park when I get my mission. The debriefing occurred in my mind (no surprising, but why didn’t I question it?) and my secretive boss who I have no idea about has warned me that there are terrorists in the park who are planning to shoot civilians as well as plant bombs in nearby buildings. As a newly recruited MI5 agent I had to try to remain calm at all times. I decided first that I must try to find the suspects, then follow them until I am sure they are planning to commit their crimes. During the debriefing I was also told they are likely to be near the bridge at some point, so that’s were I headed first.

Minutes were passing, time I could not afford to lose. They could already be killing civilians by now, I need to act quickly. Stop! I spot one of the suspects walking towards me. I panic. I don’t know what to do. This never happened in my training. I never took part in training. I try to act calm but it is hard, I just stand still and turn away, trying to still look at them through the corner of my eye. Within a few seconds I have lost them, they turn behind a bush and I can’t see them. From quite far away I look under the bush to see where their feet are going, but I can’t even see their feet. They must be onto me! I pick up the pace and walk quicker, thinking about a route to cut them off, while at the same time try to figure out where they are going. I am walking faster and faster, it is more of a jog at this point. I get to the other side of the bush but there is only one path they could have gone down without me seeing them.

I slow down again realising that I will not be far behind them unless they were running too, but these terrorist suspects wont want to act suspicious or else they will be caught. Clever thinking again by me. I walk down this path, noticing the undisturbed squirrels on the sides of the path. Wait a second, undisturbed? As I walk closer they begin to move away. But why were they next to the path if the suspect had just walked down here? This does not add up. At this moment I get a telepathic message from my secretive boss who informs me there are suspects at the bridge right at the moment. I pick up the pace again into a fast walk and get near the bridge.

I don’t want to blow my cover. I stay at least 20 metres from the bridge but with a good viewing spot to see who goes over. First comes a couple with a baby. Great disguise! Or is it a disguise? It can’t be, they don’t look like they are ready to commit terrorist acts. They stop. Oh no, have they spotted me? This can’t be happening. The couple start talking, at which point another man walks over the bridge. I need to know what that couple are saying, while I also need to look at this man to check if he a suspect. The couple are on the move again but I divert my attention to the man. Yes, it could be him. He is checking over his shoulder to see if anyone is following him, but that’s what I’ll be doing in a second. I give him about 15 metres space and then start my pursuit.

He does not look calm. There must be something stressing him. He is walking faster than people usually do at the park. This must be one of the suspects, I have found one! I can’t get too close yet, but I can’t lose him. The fate of innocent people rests on my shoulders, I have to do this. Who knows how many people could die if I let him get away. I then start to think about how I will stop him. Possibly wait until we are both out of the publics view and then take him on? He is far larger than me and I didn’t go to MI5 training so my combat skills are rusty. Well? I could lure him into a trap and call the police. Great idea. While these thoughts go on in my mind I have lost him. Oh no! That is two suspects lost already. People could already be dying and I haven’t stopped them.

Ok, another telepathic message. Yes, my boss has come up with a good idea. The suspects will need a getaway vehicle, so I shall wait at the car park to catch them before they leave. Fortunately I am now only two minutes away from the car park. I head in that direction. I pass a group of four people on the way. Nope, they aren’t involved. The car park is now in view, and there are three people in it. One looks like a postman who is fiddling with a box. Causing a power cut? Or planting a bomb? He must be up to something. Another walks into the park with their dog. Yeah, if they have a dog they can’t be terrorists. The third is a woman who goes towards the postman, talks to him and heads back to her car. She grabs something out of her car and walks away. Suspects number three and four. Like always, I quickly walk to the scene. As I get closer I notice the postman is actually a council worker who is fixing the parking machine. Obviously! But that woman, she is a suspect, I must follow her. She is already out of the car park but I know which direction she went, so I pursue.

I follow her. She is far away but I think I can catch up. Where is she going? Remember, the terrorists want to shoot people in the park and blow up nearby buildings. She must have grabbed a bomb out of her car, and now she is heading to her target. Now if I thought the two previous suspects were bad, this one could be about the kill dozens if I do not get there in time. I pick up the pace, and follow her exact footsteps. She then crosses the road but traffic comes along. I can’t get across. She is getting away. The people! I must save the people!

The traffic light changes and she is further away than before. I cross the road and try to catch up again. I see a building not far away and figure out the plan. She can’t be. No, seriously? She is about to bomb a college and I’m too far away to stop her. She turns into the college and I lose sight of her. She is inside already. I walk quickly but by the time I get there she is nowhere to be seen. She is probably planting the bomb right now. I am ashamed with my performance, I know I have failed everyone. I have failed the people, the country, the queen. I must retire from this business of secret agents. I am no good. The suspect is still in the building planting the bomb while I walk away from the scene. The telepathic messages from my secretive boss have stopped. They must know of my resignation.

Twenty minutes pass. No explosions, no gunfire, I realise I have just had another delusion. Silly me…


5 thoughts on “Delusional: MI5 Agent Depressionless, Your First Mission

  1. it must be so hard on trying to decide if something is real or unreal.

    you must really see beautiful mind. it fit almost perfectly with this delusion. it can be had on amazon uk, used for under a pound.


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