When Insomnia Writes Haiku’s

Hey Depressionless, didn’t you promise us a poem? Yeah I did, but I’ve realised that my good day has gone and my depression is going to hurt me a lot more over the next few days. Okay, so I’ll slip a few haiku’s into this post. I am writing all of this at 1am while severely depressed so dont expect a lot.

Yawn! Head slowly drops
as eyes flicker to open
to the bright new day

Me right now...

Me right now…

What? What did I just write? I’ll regret all of this when I wake up tomorrow. Actually I don’t plan on sleeping so it will be when I wake up on Tuesday. I think I’m in this situation because my friend text me to say they will meet up, but I received another text about a day later saying they won’t meet me. They know my depression is getting worse but I didn’t mention my suicidal thoughts were bad. Well, they better have a good excuse because if I’m honest my depression is as bad as it can get. I don’t tend to tell people how bad it is because I don’t want to worry them.

Misty mind clouded
by thunder as rain drops fall
onto frowning man

The lonely duck
floats the least peaceful as he
finds the lonely shore

Either my tiredness has created genius poetry, or I cannot understand what I’m writing because I’m too tired. It may be only 1am but depression can seriously drain the energy out of you. I’ve been in this situation before but I managed to get asleep. Shall we look at my exciting week ahead?

Happiness is found
in boxes and boxes of junk,
but junk is treasure?

While someone finds a literary analyser to see if that made sense, I’ll tell you about next (this) week. Monday, well nothing really now my friend wont meet me. Tuesday? My first CAMHS counselling session, wow, I have a feeling that will make me feel even worse. Wednesday, a very short day of college where I plan to write more of my book afterwards. Thursday, I’ll see my GP and tell them how much I hated my counselling. Friday I’ll hopefully try to see my friend unless they decide I’m not important. And the weekend I’ll continue writing while watching the endless football on TV.

Never surrender
to the silence or dream-state
you enter at night

Yes, I am telling myself to stay awake through the night. Will I even bother turning up to college tomorrow? I will not pay attention or learn anything, I really enjoy my subjects but this depression is winning the battle at the moment. Pulling an all-nighter does stop you learning the following day. I might actually go to maths just to fall asleep.

Learn of life and love
when living the life of love
as you love your life

I think we shall stop there, as I feel the next haiku will be random letters as my face smashes the keyboard. Oh well, I’ll try to do a real post if I have the energy tomorrow (today). You have now seen one of my freestyle poems, and this post shows my haiku’s written while tired. Yeah, I can’t improve them while I tired so you could just say I freestyled these too. I can’t even think about them. Can you readers think for me, what do you think?

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10 thoughts on “When Insomnia Writes Haiku’s

  1. I am fighting through the pain as well. I know that sometimes you feel like you are alone in this world. You are not, I found that this blog thing has really helped. I have my good days and bad days. But what I am finding is I must learn what happiness is again. What makes me happy, and I strive for that every day. If you take a look at my blog maybe that will help. I don’t know I am not a professional. If you want to email me I would be happy to respond. http://inourpursuitofhappiness.wordpress.com/ and my email is inourpursuitofhappiness@gmail.com. The thing that I did differently this time is ask for help. What makes me happy, is helping others.

    All the best!

    Jason

    Like

    • Haha, thanks I guess 🙂
      The (fiction) book is about a guy who’s mental illness turns his life from bad to worse, so he gets involved in certain illegal and dangerous activities… I don’t want to say too much yet because my ideas might change a little by time I finish writing and editing, plus you can use your imagination a little.

      Liked by 1 person

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